A Rainbow Cat with Wings: My Decision to Self-Publish

All the way back in September, my daughter declared that for Halloween this year she would be a Rainbow Cat with Wings.

"What's that from?" I asked, assuming it was a character in a kids' show or something she'd seen at school.

"Nothing," she answered. "It's just what a want to be."

Today, I'm following my daughter's lead and declaring what I want to be - what I will be:

a Self-Published Novelist.

And while that isn't quite as unusual a Rainbow Cat with Wings, to me, in this moment, it feels just as fantastical.

Here's the funny thing - after almost eight months of querying agents and publishers, I actually got the thing I thought I wanted. A reputable small press offered to buy my first four novels. They sent me a contract. All it needed was my signature.

I was elated.

Then I read the contract, and I started thinking - and feeling - what it would be like to lose all creative control over my work. The titles, the covers, the final editing decisions, the marketing, pricing . . . when and if my novels are recorded as audio books or available in print editions . . . none of it would be up to me.

And you know what? I just couldn't do it. It took a while to get there, but in the end it was an easy decision to make.

So here I am, a rainbow cat with untested wings standing at the edge & preparing to jump. Will it be challenging? Yes. Will there be days I wish I could just go back and sign that contract? Probably. Is there a chance I'll fail? Most definitely.

But maybe I won't. Maybe it will be difficult and frustrating, and maybe there will be days when I feel like I'm failing . . . but maybe in the end I'll stretch those rainbow wings and fly.

It's certainly worth a shot.

The first three books in the Darnalay Castle Series will be published in 2023.